HOLDING A GRUDGE
One of our family elders (“John”) recently passed away. His children made the announcement on social media where they also posted the arrangements, leaving many of the elders unaware of the death and/or service information. Now there’s a rift in the family because announcements were not made the traditional way. John’s children have apologized, however family elders say they feel discounted and disrespected, and there are rumors of several family members backing out of attending the upcoming reunion. How can we get this resolved quickly so that it doesn’t affect the upcoming reunion?
BILLY VARGUS with THE FIX:
1) In this day and age, organizers of an event can reach literally hundreds of people with a single email blast, and they chose to do that, rather than try to make 100 phone calls.
2) They forgot that some elders may not have email. It’s an oversight, not an intentional attempt to exclude them, so they shouldn’t feel disrespected.
3) There are also some people who DO have email, but never check it or may not know how to check it. The organizers sending the emails don’t have any way of knowing that.
4) Despite the fact that it was an oversight, the grieving family apologized to the elders who got upset about it.
5) Those elders, despite the apology, are still upset.
So, an oversight occurred, and they got offended. They received an apology, but they are still angry anyway. What else can you possibly do? Then add in the fact that the people they are holding a grudge against are the immediate family of a relative who just died. And you still can’t give them a break? And you want to take it out on the entire extended family by skipping the reunion?
I think these elders are behaving in a very selfish way. If they want to skip the reunion, that’s their choice.
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